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I’d been given explicit permission to pick some apples from the bountiful orchard. My friend Bill had said, “Jack, pick all you can eat; we’ve got plenty.”Bill and I had been neighbors and friends since boyhood. As youngsters we had ripped and run the hills and hollers of our neighboring farms. Now, several decades later, our friendship was as strong as ever. Why, just last weekend we’d celebrated our 35th birthdays at a strip club we occasionally frequented. I heard the giggly sound again. This time, it was more of a snickering laugh someone was trying to restrain. Before I could locate the source of the puzzling noise, an apple fell from above and landed between my legs. I don’t think Newton’s Law of gravity says anything about the painful effects a falling apple can have when striking a pair of tender testicles. I cried out, “Oh goddamnit, that hurt!” “Oh Mr. Sharp, I’m sorry,” a voice from above spoke repentantly. “I was just teasing. I didn’t mean to hit you ‘there’.”. I had enough of the pool for now and I picked up my stuff and went back up to the house. As I did I heard my mom scolding my uncle for not taking charge and controlling his children.The rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful. My older cousins showed up and we went out on one of the boats. Dad grilled stuff for dinner. I helped my mom in the kitchen and cleaned up after. It was dark by now and some of the little kids had been put to bed. A lot of beer had been consumed especially by my uncle. He was telling some nasty jokes and laughing at them way more then other people were. I think his wife was embarrassed because she went off to bed. I wasn't tired and I was a little bored so I decided to walk down to the long floating dock that led out to the boat house. It was a full moon and the stars were out so it was easy to see. I was still in just my bikini even though the evening was a cool one. I think most everyone was inside the house now and off to bed so I figured I.
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